The Society of Mad Lads, Gamer Chads, and Him-Bros
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Profile: The Society of Mad Lads, Gamer Chads & Him-Bros STATUS: ACTIVE

[NAMES]:

1. Madison "Mad" Ladlowe
2. Chadwick "Chad" Thompson
3. Bradley "Brad" Stevens
4. Thaddeus "Thad" Duke
5. Vladimir "Vlad" Nikolaj
6. Cadmus "Cad" Wright
7. Jad Kingsley
8. Ahmad Sharma
9. Addison "Ad" Earle
10. Chadwick "Chad 2" Boston
11. Bradley "Brad 2" Williams
12. Thaddeus "Thad 3” Graeme
13. Yadiel "Yad" Sanchez
14. Milorad "Rad" Aleksandrei
15. Tadashi "Tad" Daisuke
16. Bayblade "Blad" Johnson

Location(s): Level 11 (M.E.G. Base Beta)

Known affiliations: The Major Explorer Group


The Society of Mad Lads, Gamer Chads, and Him-Bros are renowned for their success in integrating into life in the Backrooms in spite of (and due to) their hyper-masculinity.

Description

Mad%20Lads.png

Society Members (from left to right) Tad, Brad and Jad pose for a photo.

The Society of Mad Lads, Gamer Chads, and Him-Bros (TSoMLGCaHB, or simply the Society) consists of 16 males in their early to mid-twenties whose names all contain some variation of the suffix “-ad”. They are characterized by their expertise in ‘manly’ labor, extreme hyper-masculinity, and cavalier attitude towards the clearly malevolent nature of the Backrooms.

Though the M.E.G. (which they erroneously refer to as "the Mega Force") has offered them membership within their Operative Corps, the Society insists on remaining a distinct, autonomous group. Under an exclusive employment agreement, they currently provide the M.E.G. with an auxiliary source of manpower for security, logistics and labor-intensive tasks. In exchange, the Society receives gaming paraphernalia, gym equipment, beer, and residency within the M.E.G. Base Beta Municipal District 41 on Level 11.

Origin

Mad%20Lad%20Sofa.png

The Society's infamous sofa, photographed in their home on Level 11.

The four founding members — Madison, Bradley, Chadwick and Thaddeus — were initially close friends and undergraduate students of the University of Cornell, New Jersey.

According to their account, the four men entered the Backrooms on a Friday in the summer of 2017, as they prepared for a gaming session in their rented apartment. Just as they were about to begin, the four men simultaneously flopped down onto their sofa, in a swift, synchronized motion. Without warning, the sudden weight caused the sofa, themselves, their large bowl of Cheetos, and their entire gaming set-up to no-clip through the floor, landing them in Level 0.2

Unfazed by the sudden and surprising change of location, the group refused to let their preparations go to waste. The four men stated that they carried their sofa for several hours through Level 0, till they successfully located a working power socket. They proceeded to plug in their gaming console and television to resume their gaming session.

Against all plausible odds, the four men insist that they accidentally performed the exact same motion as before – sitting down on their couch simultaneously – only to no-clip again in the exact same fashion, ending up next to Tom's Diner on Level 1. The Society further alleges that this occurred on four additional separate occasions, eventually landing them in Level 11 where they currently reside.

The incredibly far-fetched nature of this account suggests that it is greatly exaggerated – if not a total fabrication. Attempts to intentionally reproduce the ‘sofa no-clip’ have been entirely unsuccessful. Even so, anecdotal evidence suggests that the story of "these dudes who fell through the ceiling on a sofa" had been circulating an urban legend prior to the group receiving official M.E.G. recognition.

Behavior

As their name would suggest, the Society is fixated almost obsessively on activities considered masculine. Members are known for their extremely large appetites3, and their preference for beer, energy drinks, or protein shakes over other beverages. Members have also been observed to frequent gyms, bars, and recreational sports facilities. Additionally, the Society has developed a rather inconvenient (though certainly unsurprising) proclivity towards disruptive, dangerous, or otherwise disorderly behavior.

Most notably, the Society is characterized by a collective ignorance towards the existential and practical implications of being trapped within liminal space. Society members continually exhibit a lack of awareness and/or understanding of the properties fundamental to the Backrooms, such as non-Euclidian Level geometry or the act of 'no-clipping'.

By all reasonable estimates, the Society’s sheer cluelessness, combined with their penchant for reckless behavior, should have quickly sealed their doom in an environment as perilous as the Backrooms. Despite this, the Society has not only managed to survive, but confoundingly quadrupled in size. The Society dismisses their success as a natural result of their 'Gigachad Aura' — a concept which itself demands elaboration further on in this article.

Although their rowdiness and physique may initially appear intimidating, Society members are actually friendly and outgoing in disposition. Members are usually available and cheerfully willing to help those in need. The Society is particularly helpful in situations requiring heavy labour, and members are also surprisingly skilled in engineering and wood/metal craftsmanship.

'Dares':

The Society is infamous within Base Beta for their consistent episodes of unruly conduct, including 'dares'. 'Dares' usually consist of juvenile, risky, or dangerous activities which are performed deliberately (as such, the equally numerous 'accidental' incidents caused by the Society do not count as 'dares').

The process by which 'dares' are initiated is surprisingly complex. According to the Society, a ‘dare’ is initiated when a Society member issues a verbal challenge to another Society member, in the presence of at least three additional members.

The remaining Society members then assess the challenge, and vote to either validate or shut down the 'dare'. A majority vote will always pass, unless it is vetoed by Madison Ladlowe, the Society's leader and self-appointed 'Ultimate Mad Lad Master'.

If the 'dare' is invalidated, the victim may choose to issue a ‘counter-dare’ to the initial challenger, as a penalty for “a lame or dumb idea”. If the 'dare' is deemed valid, it must be enacted within one week. Failure to follow through on a valid 'dare' results in a Society member being jokingly labelled a 'sissy' for the next week. A botched attempt to follow through on a valid 'dare' results in the victim being jokingly labeled a 'clown' for the next week.

Notable recent ‘dares’ have involved the following:

• Conducting a ‘hound rodeo’

• Ordering (and finishing) thirty-two Extra Large pizzas

• Prank-calling the M.E.G. Emergency Hotline to ask Overseer-B out on a date (successful)

• Climbing up the M.E.G. Command Tower with suction cups while screaming the phrase, "I’M SUCTION CUP MAN" (apparently role-playing an animated character created by Youtuber Michael Pitts)

• Unintentionally summoning a demon after ingesting a stick of Babel balm

• ██████████, ██████████
████████████████4

The Society appears genuinely unaware of the danger their 'dares' pose, and even consciously attempt to avoid endangering other Wanderers with 'dares'. Firm but polite confrontation has proved somewhat successful in stopping 'dares'.

The 'Gigachad Aura':

The Society is notorious within Level 11 for the incident reports, safety violations, and costly property damage they generate on a regular basis. Nevertheless, the Administration of M.E.G. Base Beta has unanimously voted to retain the Society’s employment and residence indefinitely, due to their purported 'Gigachad Aura'.

The apparent absurdity of the previous statement notwithstanding, there is an abundance of well-documented evidence that the Society’s presence is capable of warding off hostile entities.

The Society themselves collectively assert that they hardly ever make contact with dangerous entities, regardless of the Level. On many occasions, members have been observed casually emerging nearly unscathed from Levels with a Survival Designation of Class 4 or higher, including Levels well-known for entity infestations. Furthermore, they claim that entities which they do encounter tend to actively flee from their presence. In an interview, Society member Yadiel "Yad" Sanchez made the following remark:

"I really don't see what's so scary about Level 3. Yeah it's got some spooky vibes but, like, we literally sat in the open and played our Xbox for four hours, and nothing happened. There was this one kid in pink pajamas who came in and stared at us for a bit, but when we offered her a controller, she started screaming and ran off. Weird. Anyway, did you know Level 3 has the best internet? It's smooth as butter."

The Society claims that their 'Gigachad Aura' is produced by simply having such a dense population of 'Gamer Chads' constantly together in one place, amplified by their consumption of 'manly drinks', their excellent physical fitness levels, and their constant exhibition of 'mad skillz' to 'assert dominance'. The M.E.G. refuses to accept this as a valid explanation, simply because it sounds incredibly stupid.

Though inexplicable, the Society's 'Gigachad aura' is a highly valuable asset. Since their settlement, entity attacks within Base Beta5 have plummeted by 68%, while almost no entity attacks have been reported in the past year in the block of the Society’s residence.

The M.E.G. is currently discussing putting the Society to use as test subjects for Level exploration and/or study of entity behavior, as well as shifting their residence to Level 3 to improve the currently deficient safety of Base Gamma.


Annex

The most recent Annual Incident Log Folder available has been included here for reference.

〔TSoMLGCaHB Compiled Incident Log Folder 2020〕

Incident 13137

Date: 7th January 2020
Nature: Safety Breach, Property Damage
Safety Code violations: 73A, 221B, 99A-1
Description:
At approximately 1330hrs, seven members of the Society were observed by passers-by scaling the roof of a (thankfully, vacant) two-story suburban house. At 1336hrs, neighbor and passer-by Jonathan Lee reported two additional members of the Society hoisting a blue motorcycle up onto the roof. Three members were observed nailing a small, apparently homemade ramp onto the surface of the roof, while three other members were observed pushing another much larger ramp into position down the sidewalk. At 1337hrs, Lee reported one Chadwick "Chad" Boston mounting the motorcycle and riding it off the roof onto the ramp below, to the cheers of his compatriots. The roof subsequently collapsed, causing the six remaining members to fall into the second floor of the house below. M.E.G. security arrived at 1339hrs.
Result:
No one involved sustained serious injuries. Motorcycle owned by Chadwick Boston required major repairs, handled in full by The Society. No repairs made to collapsed house roof, since the house was in a state of disrepair prior to incident. The Society received a stern written warning, while Boston’s motorcycle was confiscated for three months.

Additional notes:
Another year, another load of incidents. I am gonna be so pleased to see the paperwork.
M.E.G. Junior Archivist Lake Kesler

Incident 13138

Date: 22nd - 23rd February 2020
Nature: Noise Disturbance
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
Between 2200hrs and 0200hrs, several residential neighbors of the Society called to complain about loud shouting and construction noises (hammering, drilling, etc) coming from their garage. Noise ceased when Security arrived to advise them to be quieter.

Result:
No charges pressed.

Additional notes:
-

Incident 13139

Date: 23rd - 24th February 2020
Nature: Noise Disturbance
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
Between 2200hrs and 2330hrs, several residential neighbors of the Society called to complain about loud shouting and construction noises (hammering, drilling, etc) coming from their garage. Noise ceased when Security arrived to advise them to quieten down. Security inspection of the garage revealed an "art project" of scrap metal parts. All Society members working on the "project" wore goggles and gloves, and no hazards or safety violations were observed.

Result:
No charges pressed.

Additional notes:
What are they up to?
Lake

Incident 13140

Date: 24th February 2020
Nature: Noise Disturbance
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
Between 2200hrs and 2230hrs, several residential neighbors of the Society called to complain about loud shouting and construction noises (hammering, drilling, etc) coming from their garage. Noise ceased when Security arrived to advise them to quieten down.

Result:
No charges pressed. Verbal warning issued for repeated non-compliance.

Additional notes:
WHAT ARE THEY UP TO???
Lake

Incident 13141

Date: 25th February 2020 - 26th February 2020
Nature: Safety Breach, Possession of unsafe motor vehicle, Speeding, Property Damage
Safety Code violations: 73B, 221B, 662-K
Description:
Loud construction noises were heard by neighbors from 1930hrs to 2100hrs. At 2330hrs, neighbors observed a loud commotion coming from the Society's garage. According to neighbor Linus R. Jude, the garage door remained closed for about three minutes, and then opened to reveal one Tadashi "Tad" Daisuke sitting on a motorbike built entirely of scrap metal and junk parts. Daisuke rode out of the garage, while the other Society members began to continuously chant "Dare! Dare! Dare!", following him on foot to the edge of the sidewalk.

Daisuke proceeded to ride the motorbike along the roads of District 4 at a dangerously high speed, returning to the house after approximately 5 minutes. Since most vehicles on Level 11 are non-functional, residents are not accustomed to remaining on the sidewalk. Many pedestrians sustained mild injuries as they leapt out of the path of the speeding vehicle.

The remaining society members took turns on the motorbike for the next 21 minutes, until security arrived at 2357hrs to find Cadmus "Cad" Wright mounting the bike. Wright proceeded to shout "You'll never take the Lad-mobile!", revving the bike, losing control, and swerving into neighbor Jonathan Lee's fence.

Result:
Several trash cans and one mailbox were knocked over. Lee's fence was damaged, with repairs costing 230BSC6. The "Lad-mobile" was impounded indefinitely.

Additional notes:
Apparently, security didn't recognize the "art project" as a motorbike in its half-built state. Wild. The research team said it handles ridiculously well for a bike made of junk… though it definitely isn't safe. Maybe we should give this to Rust Punk Kaiser?
M.E.G. Senior Administrative Officer Stephen Owling

Incident 13144

Date: 16th March 2020
Nature: Public Disturbance, Abuse of Commercial Services
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
At approximately 1900hrs, 13 members of The Society arrived at Princeton Pizzeria, Level 6.1, for a meal. They proceeded to order the following:
- 32 XL deluxe meat-lover Pizzas
- 20 family-sharing Chicken Wing sets
- 15 Large diet Cokes

The staff of the rather small establishment reported that they struggled to meet the demands while also serving other customers. By 1930hrs, other patrons had begun to respond with curiosity towards the Society’s presence and rate of consumption.

At approximately 1955hrs, diners reported one Vladimir "Vlad" Nikolaj rising from the table, declaring, "Attention all customers! Our friend Brad [i.e. Bradley "Brad" Stevens] here is about to set a new record. He is on his TENTH pizza of the night! Let us cheer him on!" Nikolaj was then joined by the Society members (and several restaurant patrons) in continuously chanting, "Brad! Brad! Brad!", to the chagrin of the waitstaff and many other diners.

The Society erupted in disruptively loud clapping and cheering when Stevens finished the final slice of pizza, causing many perturbed customers to leave the restaurant. Their celebration was cut short as the establishment’s head chef Lawrence Wu stormed to their table and demanded that the Society leave immediately.

Result:
This was apparently not the first time the Society visited the pizzeria. After this incident in particular, Princeton Pizzeria has banned all 16 Society members from patronizing their establishment.

Additional notes:
We're receiving complaints from other Levels now??? And how does one guy physically eat ten pizzas in one go????
Lake

Incident 13156

Date: 15th April 2020
Nature: Severe safety breach
Safety Code violations: 99A, 228C
Description:
At approximately 1120hrs, security footage shows eight members of the Society arriving on the roof of a ten-story building. The Society members fasten a rope to an arrow, using a crossbow to shoot the arrow towards the opposite building - a multi-story parking lot. The arrow lands successfully on the ninth story, where more Society members are observed fastening the rope to a pillar. The Society members on both ends are observed securing the rope for the next eight minutes, forming a makeshift zip-line.

By 1129hrs, a sizable crowd of eyewitnesses has gathered. The Society members on the roof fasten what appears to be a modified metal clothes hanger on the zip-line, and send it across to the opposite building. Both parties give each other a thumbs-up, and one Madison "Mad" Ladlowe is observed leaning over the ledge to address the crowd.

A video captured on an eyewitness’ mobile phone records Ladlowe loudly announcing, “Ladies and Gentlemen! We are gathered here on this momentous day to witness a spectacular feat! Our brother has been dared to swing across this 150 foot gap BLINDFOLDED AND WITHOUT A HARNESS! Let us celebrate his blaze of glory! I present to you - the amazing ADDISON EARLE!"

Earle proceeds to zip-line across the gap - indeed blindfolded and without a harness - to the cheers and screams of the crowd below. Three more society members follow Earle across one by one, till security arrives to detain them at 1148hrs.

Result:
No injuries to all parties involved. All members of The Society placed on house arrest for two weeks. A fence was erected on the roof of the building in question, and a public announcement was issued to deter copycat behavior.

Additional notes:
Another month, another incident. These guys are like Florida men.
Lake

Incident 13159

Date: 7th May 2020
Nature: Breaking and Entering No charges pressed
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
At approximately 0330hrs, Security Patrol Officer Roland reported seeing two "suspicious figures in their twenties" lurking outside the Society's residence. One man tried the door of the house, but was unable to open it. They proceeded to "loiter suspiciously", roaming around the property and trying several windows, all of which were locked. At 0339hrs, the two suspects proceeded to scale a pipe along a corner of the house and climb through the second-story window into a bathroom. Officer Roland, who had been observing the situation from along the street, then proceeded to rush towards the house.

Following the men in, Roland tackled one man from behind and pepper-sprayed the other, rendering both incapacitated before he called for backup. The suspects turned out to be Ahmad Sharma and Milorad "Rad" Alexandrei, two Society members who had forgotten to bring their keys and were trying to enter their home discreetly without waking the other Society members.

Result:
Officer Roland placed on probation for six months. No charges pressed by the Society.

Additional notes:
That was stupid.
Stephen

Incident 13162

Date: 13th June 2020
Nature: This information is not in the Public Domain. We apologize for the inconvenience caused.
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
This information is not in the Public Domain. We apologize for the inconvenience caused.

Result:
This information is not in the Public Domain. We apologize for the inconvenience caused.

Additional notes:
Handed over to Project Holy Grail.
M.E.G. Overseer-A

Incident 13170

Date: 9th July 2020
Nature: Abuse of Emergency Resource
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
At 1442hrs, the M.E.G. Emergency Hotline received a call from Society Member Bayblade "Blad" Johnson. Johnson reportedly told the Hotline operator, "There's a crisis demanding the immediate attention of the highest authorities of the Mega Force [sic]. Overseer-B is in grave danger, and her chances of survival are dropping as we speak. I need to speak to her immediately." The operator immediately patched the call through to Overseer-B. Johnson then told her, "The emergency is that you're still single, babe, 'cause hot damn. Brunch tomorrow at the iHOP?" Investigation found that Bayblade Johnson had been "dared" to prank-call the Overseers, though he intended to follow through with the date.

Result:
The Society’s home phone number has been blacklisted on the hotline system. A stern written warning has been issued to the Society on misuse of the M.E.G. Emergency Hotline. At time of writing, Overseer-B and Bayblade Johnson have subsequently met for three successful dates.

Additional notes:
Seriously, Kat? You're tolerating this?
Stephen
He's cute tho
M.E.G. Overseer-B

Incident 13174


Date: 12th August 2020
Nature: Misuse of M.E.G. property, endangerment of personnel, unauthorized engagement with hostile faction
Safety Code violations: 77-1, 22C
Description:
Due to the nature of the incident, all relevant video footage is irretrievable. According to the account of one Thaddeus "Thad" Duke, one Cadmus "Cad" Wright, and one Ahmad Sharma, the three Society members visited the Command Centre Break Lounge 4 at 1500hrs, finding a Deuclidator that had been left unattended. Assuming the object was an ordinary radio, Duke attempted to turn the object on to play music. Sharma suggested that the issue was that it lacked power, pointing out the empty fuel box. The three men then procured several AA batteries from the Nintendo Wii controllers in the room, inserted them into the Deuclidator, and pressed the blue button.

According to the trio, the break room began to shake violently and distort for about ten seconds, before warping directly into the third story of the Eyes of Argos Headquarters, resulting in severe damage to its structural integrity. The trio claim that Wright’s motion sickness caused him to violently projectile vomit towards their (understandably) upset assailants, creating the distraction they needed to escape entirely unscathed. At 2327hrs, the three men arrived at Base Beta’s west entrance, and were swiftly detained for questioning.

Result:
Senior Researcher Janus Sheen was promptly fired for negligence. The Society has been banned from the Command Centre for the next two months.

The M.E.G. Command Centre was attacked by the Eyes of Argos six times over the next week. Attacks ceased after a lengthy diplomatic meeting. All repairs were outsourced to local Level 11 Faceling construction workers, who willingly repaired the damage for free.

Additional notes:
The Deuclidator’s reaction here was fascinating to say the least… A more extensive report has been given to the B.N.T.G. for research purposes. This is the first (and hopefully last) time anyone tries to use AA batteries as fuel. The most ridiculous part of this whole fiasco is that we still don't know the location of Argos’ HQ.
Stephen

Incident 13173

Date: 27th August 2020
Nature: Unauthorized Entry into Dangerous Area
Safety Code violations: 24D, 77A
Description:
According to reports from several M.E.G. volunteers guarding the Level 6 door on Level 6.1, at approximately 1723hrs, abnormal noises were heard behind the door. This noise increased dramatically in volume over the next five or so minutes, before a chainsaw suddenly ripped through the door.

Society member Thaddeus “Thad 3” Graeme emerged from the doorway covered in cuts and bruises, clutching a large, industrial grade chainsaw. He was followed by several other Society members, equally bruised and disoriented. Graeme proceeded to loudly yell “WHERE IS MY RAMEN?” and was swiftly detained by the volunteers. Society members were retrieved by First Response Team “Martha” at 1749hrs and returned to Level 11 for questioning.

During the subsequent investigation, Graeme claimed that the Society members had intended to “go out for some Ramen”, ended up lost in Level 11, and accidentally travelled to Level 6 instead of Level 6.1. The route they had taken to achieve this could not be identified. It is not known how the Society managed to obtain a chainsaw in Level 6, nor was a chainsaw found in their possession upon retrieval.

Result:
Graeme treated for minor injuries. Light verbal warning issued, as well as a reminder on the proper entry points to Level 6.1 from Level 11.

The door to Level 6 repaired itself instantly when left unobserved.

Additional notes:
Where did he get a chainsaw??
Lake

Incident 13176

Date: 6th September 2020
Nature: Severe safety breach
Safety Code violations: 99A, 228C
Description:
The following report has been collated from various sources of video footage.

At 0935hrs, Society leader Madison “Mad” Ladlowe walked up to the side of the MEG Command Tower. He proceeded to remove four large toilet plungers from his backpack, strapping them to the sides of his upper arms and thighs, and donning a blue helmet. At 0941hrs, Ladlowe began scaling the building using only the suction of the plungers.

Ladlowe’s actions went mostly unnoticed by passers-by for the next half-hour, till at 1004hrs he yelled loudly from the building’s seventh story, “I’M SUCTION CUP MAN, LOOK AT ME GO”, attracting a crowd of onlookers. At roughly the same time, livestreams by several Society Members began on several Backrooms social media sites to record the feat, from various angles in adjacent buildings. The livestreams each garnered several thousand views over the next three hours.

When M.E.G. Security arrived on the scene at 1007hrs, Ladlowe refused to cooperate. On several occasions, Ladlowe rejected orders to climb in through the window, yelling “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, I’M SUCTION CUP MAN!” and continuing to climb upwards.

At 1326hrs, Ladlowe was successfully pulled into the building from a 39th-story window, still loudly screaming “I’M SUCTION CUP MAN!” Remaining Society members were also located in the adjacent buildings and detained for questioning.

Upon investigation, it was found that Ladlowe had climbed the Command building as part of a ‘dare’. The plungers used were of anomalously high strength and suction power, apparently obtained from Level 480. Ladlowe had also intended to bungee jump off the roof of the building once he had completed his climb – an activity that would almost certainly have ended in grievous injury.

Result:
Ladlowe sustained no injuries. Several windows required replacement costing 1,653BSC. All climbing equipment – including most of the plungers – were confiscated indefinitely. Society members were placed on house arrest for a week, and were assigned window cleaning duty on the Command Tower for the following week.

Additional notes:
He’s suction cup man, look at him go!
M.E.G. Junior Archivist Julian Lee

Incident 13177

Date: 28th September 2020
Nature: Act of Heroism
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
According to survivor Josiah Beckett, the Level 8 incident caused his group of 12 Wanderers to lose their way within the altered cavern systems. The group traversed the caves for several hours in desperation, before being attacked by a pack of Camo Crawlers. Seven (7) members of this group were killed, and the remaining members, including Beckett, were cornered by the entities against a wall.

At this juncture, Beckett reported hearing loud choral singing echoing across the caves (specifically, the theme from the popular Microsoft game franchise ‘Halo’). The Camo Crawlers, distracted, proceeded to move away from Beckett and towards the source of the noise. Several Society members then emerged through a cave opening and charged towards the Camo Crawlers.

Beckett observed the Society dispatching the Crawlers with ease using a variety of eccentric weapons, including squirt guns, a large plastic trophy, and a chainsaw. In particular, Beckett noted, “He tore that thing apart with a damned toilet plunger… he kept screaming ‘I’M SUCTION CUP MAN, LOOK AT ME GO’ throughout… I couldn’t believe my eyes. But they saved me.”

Beckett’s group and twelve (12) members of the Society were successfully retrieved by Quick Match Team “Wonderland” approximately 4 hours after the incident. They arrived safely in Level 2 on 30th September, 2213hrs.

During subsequent investigation, the Society explained that the twelve members involved had participated in (and won) the Annual M.E.G. Base Epsilon Laser Tag Tournament (BELTT), four days earlier. After the BELTT, the members got lost within Level 253, ending up in Level 8 by accident. It is not known how the Society managed to obtain a chainsaw in Level 8, nor was a chainsaw found in their possession upon retrieval.

Result:
Beckett’s group and all Society Members were treated for minor injuries. The Society was reminded of the recommended return route to Level 11 (283 -> 57 -> 11) and commended for their chivalry. As a reward, Madison “Mad” Ladlowe was legally allowed to scale the Base Beta Command Tower with his suction cups (with the addition of a harness and under careful supervision).

Additional notes:
HE’S SUCTION CUP MAN, LOOK AT HIM GO
Stephen

Incident 13184

Date: 15th October 2020
Nature: Abuse of Emergency Resource
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
On security footage, three Society Members were observed slipping into the Command Center Communication Broadcast Room 3, at 1039hrs. At 1041hrs, Society Member Jad Kingsley announced over the Base Beta Emergency Intercom, “ATTENTION, ALL MEMBERS OF THE MEGA FORCE. TODAY IS A MOMENTOUS DAY, FOR WE HAVE CAPTURED THE WANTED AVIAN CRIMINAL JERRY.”

Base Beta was immediately placed on full lockdown. All Society members were detained for questioning.

Upon inquiry, the Society claimed that it had recently heard about the hostile nature of the Followers of Jerry. They erroneously concluded that the M.E.G. intended to detain Jerry and exterminate the Followers. The Society claimed that they had spotted Jerry in Level 11 several hours earlier, and captured it in a cardboard box.

The lockdown was lifted at 1215hrs, when it was determined that the captured bird was nothing more than a common pigeon.

Result:
All Society members were placed on house arrest for the following 2 weeks.

M.E.G. Division Secure Security has been instructed to post a security detail outside the Command Center Communications Hub at all times.

Additional notes:
This is NOT funny! Security is a SERIOUS matter.
Lake

Okay but consider – this was funny as shit.
Julian

Incident 13195

Date: 6th November 2020
Nature: Severe safety breach, damage of public property, damage of private property
Safety Code violations: ???
Description:
At 0900hrs, the M.E.G. Emergency Hotline received a call from The Society claiming that they had “accidentally summoned a demon”. The call was interpreted as a practical joke, and ignored.

At 0914hrs, a M.E.G. Base Beta Security Patrol detail requested backup, claiming that an unknown Entity had begun rampaging through Level 11. The Entity had apparently gone on a rampage through several blocks, causing devastating property damage and injuring several Wanderers. Base Beta was placed on full lockdown till Wild Warriors Team “Saber Tooth” arrived on the scene at 1120hrs, and swiftly terminated the Entity.

Upon further investigation, the Society claimed that it had obtained a book titled ‘████’ from an individual named “Joe”, of the ██████, and instructed to recite the incantation on page █ for a “special surprise”. Unable to read Latin, the Society simply forgot about the book for several days.

However, on the day of the incident, several Society members pulled a practical joke on member Milorad "Rad" Aleksandrei, causing him to unwittingly ingest a full stick of Babel balm hidden within a hotdog. To the Society’s surprise, Aleksandrei did not lose the ability to speak and understand English as they had hoped. Instead, Aleksandrei gained the ability to read and speak in any known language. Aleksandrei was thus dared to recite the incantation written in the ████. This inadvertently caused the rogue entity to emerge through the floor and begin its rampage.

Result:
The entity could not be retrieved for further study, as it disintegrated upon death.

No charges were pressed. Aleksandrei lost his abilities after approximately 24 hours, and was unharmed apart from suffering several bouts of explosive diarrhea. The ████ was confiscated permanently. Further study on the object is pending.

Additional notes:
Redactions have been made before releasing this log to the public, to prevent further incidents. Although… who exactly is Joe supposed to be??
Lake

JOE MAMA LOL GOTTEM
Stephen

Incident 12004

Date: 18th April 2019
Nature: Public Disturbance
Safety Code violations: N/A
Description:
Security footage showed all 16 Society members walking into Tom’s diner, Level 1. The Society disperses across several tables and the bar.

One Thaddeus "Thad 2" Lane is observed talking to a female patron (later identified as Wanderer Jessica D. Castle). Castle is observed growing increasingly uncomfortable as Lane leans in towards her. As she tries to get up to leave, Lane is observed forcefully gripping her forearm. After multiple whispered threats, Lane is observed pulling a petrified Castle towards the bathroom at the end of the diner.

In a booth across the bar, Society member Cadmus "Cad" Wright is observed nudging Society leader Madison "Mad" Ladlowe, and gesturing towards Lane.

Ladlowe’s expression turns sour.

Ladlowe is observed briskly walking up behind Lane and putting a hand on his shoulder. Lane turns around, and they converse for the next one minute and thirty-four seconds, both growing increasingly agitated. Other Society members move to shield and reassure the female patron. The conflict escalates when Lane attempts to shove Ladlowe away. Ladlowe violently retaliates with a punch to Lane’s face.

A full fight ensues. Lane throws Ladlowe across the bar counter, while other Society members rush towards them. Ladlowe recovers quickly, running up to tackle his opponent to the ground. For the next two minutes and forty-seven seconds of footage, the two brawlers are obscured by remaining members of the Society attempting to pull them away. When they break apart, Ladlowe glares at Lane, gesturing aggressively towards the door. Lane storms out.

Ladlowe proceeds to pay the bill and apologize for the destruction. The Society swiftly leaves the diner.

Result:
One Madison "Mad" Ladlowe and one Thaddeus "Thad 2" Lane admitted to the Level 11 infirmary for numerous cuts and bruises. Lane detained on charges of sexual harassment and dismissed from Beta District 4 residency. No charges pressed against other parties involved.

Additional notes:
Wrong folder… this is from last year. Can someone get Stephen to shift this? I don't have the perms.
Lake

Incident 13203

Date: 23rd December 2020
Nature: Macaroni Party (??)
Safety Code violations: bruh whAT
Description:
At approximately 1630hrs, all 16 members of the Society were observed pulling three large wagons and carrying six large backpacks, arriving at a vacant property along Smythe Street containing a large, drained swimming pool. Two members proceeded to unfurl and install a large, home-made banner at the front of the property, containing the words "MACARONI PARTY AND BBQ, 5.30PM. ALL WELCOME TO JOIN - BRING BEER."

Witnesses reported that the Society proceeded to unpack their bags, which were filled with Barbecue equipment, as well as several dozen boxes of Macaroni pasta. The Society then emptied the boxes into the swimming pool, filling it to the brim with dry Macaroni.

At approximately 1730hrs, guests - including several Facelings - began to arrive. Participants reported that the event lasted till 0200hrs the next day, and that a good time was had by all, with music, food, games, and beer. Participants also recounted that at 0000hrs, a "swimming race" occurred, where several Society members competed to see who could swim through the pool of macaroni the fastest. Chadwick Thompson was noted as the winner.

Result:
The venue was completely cleaned up afterwards. Upon M.E.G. inspection, the property appeared much cleaner than it had been beforehand. No charges presently filed.

Additional notes:
Where do I even… what??? Why does this even need a report?
Lake

To commemorate the most INSANE party ever held in the Backrooms. You should've been there, dude. Thad 3 makes the best steak I have ever tasted.
Stephen

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