Joke Entity Gerald
rating: +34+x
1

gerald.jpeg

CONCORD ENTITY CLASSIFICATION SYSTEM
ENTITY ID: 1
HABITAT(S): Level 4
IETS:
5E
CLASS:
insect thing
PROPERTIES:
HVM
VRL-A
VRL-B
NCR
MCH
CBR
SYN
DMN
SSV
CVL
RAD
NRO
TXC
PYR
RLA
UNQ
AGR
BNV
DIS

Description

It's a small insect… I think? I don't know, it bit me.
It appears to carry something at all times… maybe some food? I think it is always very hungry.

I am not sure, but I think we made a deal. Every time I have lunch, I will throw a piece of bread at it and it will pick up a tiny bit and go away. I feel like I have made a deal with some sort of god, and that this loaf of bread is the only thing keeping me alive right now.
What if it starts to hate bread? — No, everyone likes bread… I mean, I do… don't you too?

It's tiny, black, uh… six legs. It is literally an insect.
I am really scared.

Anyways, yes, it bit me; I am most likely going to die.

Behaviors

It crawls on the walls, it eats on the walls, it lives on the walls. I am not sure how to be more specific, it simply traverses on the walls using its little legs, going up and down in random motions seemingly as if lost. Sometimes it does something new and tries to climb to the ceiling.1

I think it has achieved a new form of society and that maybe we should learn from it. I mean, why can't we also just live on walls? That thing always makes it seem easy, but when I try it all my friends laugh at me. One day…

Sometimes, it moves in circles, and the circular patterns probably mean something, but I have not been able to decipher it yet. I guess it is trying to convey to me, which is both interesting and scary at the same time… I mean, have you ever tried to communicate with… with an insect!? A damn insect I tell you, that sits there, all day long doing nothing; heck, I don't even know if it has a family. Does it have a family? Maybe.

I mean… I could always ask I guess.

That would warrant me to be social, which is not the case. I am, however, getting better at it. Yesterday I was able to talk with some M.E.G. operative that was walking by! It was great.

Attached Logs #1


[Operative passes near the subject]
Hey, you! Walls, I live on walls.

Sir, are you okay?

My parents left me when I was young…

Biology

It's a tiny black manifestation of atoms, it is literally minuscule. I could punch that straight into oblivion with my thumb.
Why don't I do it? Simple—it's an insect. Have you ever approached one—ah-ah! don't reply—I know you have, of course… TRIED TO. The second you get closer to it you just want to run away, it is disgusting.

It almost reminds me of that one time I looked into the mirror one day:

Attached Logs #2


[Subject enters the bathroom and stares at himself in the mirror]
Ah… wait. Oh christ, what is- ergh, what… WHAT IS THAT?

OH… OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT? UH- ERGH, WHAT? WHAT IS THA- WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?
OH IT'S PAINFUL, MAKE IT STOP.

It doesn't have wings, so I assume it doesn't fly. I think? Could you theoretically fly without wings? I mean, planes do. They have wings, yes, but they don't flap around, no. They use engines, does it look like it has engines? No. Pretty sure it doesn't fly.

If anything, it appears to possess some weird powers. Yes, weird powers.
Every time it is around some entities run away as if they cannot stand its presence. But I mean, who could. IT'S AN INSECT!!

Discovery

So I was traveling in Level 4, minding my own business when all of a sudden I see this minuscule black dot on the wall traversing, moving, dislocating, transferring atoms in motion.

I panicked, I squeaked, I ducked, and I probably did other unholy things which might have prompted me to clean my pants after — but the point is. I witnessed it, okay? There and then I witnessed the instance, the uniqueness, the marvelous manifestation of atoms god had provided me that day, I had seen it, I had justified its presence.

Reminds me of that one time I went to some nightclub in Level 11.

Attached Logs #3


Just kidding, that never happened.

It now lives eternally in some room, and in this article too.

Oh yeah, I spoke with some guy. Apparently, it's named 'Gerald'.

Addendum

It was in fact just an ant.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License