Beginning

I spent most of today on the floor. I didn't have anything to do, after all. I was still thinking about what Philia told me before she disappeared.

Then, I thought about food. I couldn't feel hungry without my old body. But I wished I could bite into a tasty red apple — just one last time. And that was when…

A red apple appeared.

When I thought about it hard enough, imagining the shape, the texture, the taste… it simply popped into existence. Right in front of me, out of nowhere. When I held it in my hands, it felt exactly like a real apple! Although I couldn't eat it, I knew that it was real.

And I had created it from nothing but my thoughts — just like Tournesol could.

So I tried to make more things. A lamp, a pencil, a scarf.

It took a bit of effort but, one by one, they all materialized before me — just as I had imagined them.

Was this Philia's doing? Somehow, under the same circumstances that are keeping me alive, I seem to have acquired a strange set of powers… perhaps the same powers as my lost love.

But how?

If they are watching over me… if they are part of the reason why I'm still alive… I need to learn how to master these abilities, perhaps then I could create a way to flee.

For now, I'll redecorate this place; it's rather bland… Oh, I know! I'll make it look just like the special home of our dreams… with a nice garden of sunflowers, a farm, and a house that changes its look to match who's inside.

It will take a while, but I can do it!

Meeting

I came up with a cure and it seems to be working! Sally is feeling better. She says she doesn't feel any pain now. If I just put more energy into it; I'll be able to cure her completely, I just need to work a little bit more.

She's so happy, although she's still tired she's not in as much pain. She can go around and happily play in the gardens, she can paint and draw again…

She seems so grateful to me, and I won't let it get any worse, even if I am exhausted. I'm just so close… I just need a few more days, then I should be able to create something even more powerful to treat her.

She will let her hair grow again, once it's all over, and then she will have the hair of a beautiful princess! Then we will bake a cake together, and we will also celebrate with a tea party.

Another good news is that more people started to come to this place. Now that I think of it, I should give it a name since it can be considered a level… I know the perfect name.

Level Tournesol, a place where everyone can live without any fear of being harmed, without ever starving or feeling lost. The exact place we always wanted to make together…

I wonder if you are proud of me, I wonder if one day… I will feel that I've completely fulfilled our promise.

Tournesol, wherever you are right now… Know that your hopes will never be shattered.

I will make this realm a better place, I will take care of the innocents like we both desired, so that nobody will ever go through what we did.

And we will be happy.

I am… happy.

It's been a while since I've felt this way…

Doubt still lingers in my mind, but I won't let it get to me!

They need me.

Ever since I started giving Sally her dose of pills she has been getting less pale. Just recently her tiredness was gone too!

I can't believe things are getting better and better, and this is only just the start!

Just a few days ago, a man wearing a uniform arrived on my level. At first he seemed pretty afraid of me, but we had a long talk about my purpose and about the things I can do, that seemed to truly spark his interest, specifically when he got to know about my abilities.

He asked all kinds of questions regarding the level and its limits, such as if I was able to create endless food. His face visibly lit up once I mentioned that the level is infinite and that it can store all kinds of things.

He told me he comes from a group known as The Coalition, and that they have a mission to protect wanderers by creating a haven for them, which aligns perfectly with what I want to do! He even said they already have a few places that are under their protection.

I was worried at first, I didn't have the best experience with the M.E.G…. but it seems they aren't affiliated in any way. The Coalition seems to be my only outside help for now… He promised that he'd return soon, with other agents. To start settling in, and examine the level, he would let everyone know about this place.

Maybe through our collaboration, they can direct wanderers to the mirror portals, which would lead them here more easily! And a bit of help in taking care of resources would also take some responsibilities off my shoulders.

Since they have quite a few bases, we could also potentially build a system of exportation of resources. So people who are settled in other levels can still have their needed necessities, without needing for them to come here.

I forgot to ask his name, but he has already left. Hopefully, he will return soon enough so we can have a proper meeting. I'm excited to see more people interested in my cause. And with a big group by my side, things will get even better.

Sally, however, seemed a bit afraid of him, it's normal though, she's gotten used to the same people every day so seeing a stranger is probably a bit frightening.

I reassured her that things will go smoothly and that this is a great occasion to help more people. I'm glad she's feeling less uneasy now. She's willing to trust them.

She started to refer to me as her older sister and I don't mind. I've always been an only child, so having a younger sibling to look after makes me feel happy, even if it's inside this realm.

I need to make sure I don't get too exhausted though, because if I get too caught up with collaborating with The Coalition, I may forget to focus on other important things…

Exhaustion

It's been a few days since members of The Coalition started coming in groups. The man I met first also returned and I know his name now, Jack Warren. Apparently, he's one of the "higher ups", how lucky!

They've been taking notes ever since they stepped in here, I was given a bunch of requests and I was able to fulfill them. It seems they have plans to construct a bunch of large facilities inside of the level. These facilities would have machines that automatically produce food and things like that.

It would take less energy from me, and it would significantly speed up the process. Then I heard them discuss creating a large base inside of the level too. Since I can technically create exits to anywhere, this Base would be a useful gateway between other outposts of theirs.

Although, I'm worried that they may be a bit wary of me. I suppose it's because I am not exactly a human being anymore, am I? I am not… Olivia Bellerose anymore, but Ghosty.

But that's fine, it's understandable. It's already a lot that they trusted me enough to come here. It seems that they will store everything about my level in their private database, and then they will make it public once everything has been prepared and settled!

I ought to rest more often because from now on I'll have to work as hard as I can…

I need to be of use until I'm in this place…

But what will happen after I am strong enough to flee this place?

For now… it doesn't matter. I'm sure I'll be able to make this realm continue to exist.

I can't wait for time to pass quickly.

And I can't wait for Sally's recovery to reach its ending point. I wish to see her smile like this every day.

My dear sister, she is letting her hair grow now. Long and blonde, she even asked me to style it. She's now truly a princess!

Just another week and anything malignant in her body will be gone.

Progress is happening fast. The factories have been built… and the construction of the base has started.

But… I'm beginning to worry, because the members of The Coalition are very… demanding.

I've started to lose strength more often, I can't produce as many things as I did before, and then just… they don't like it.

I know they must be disappointed. I'm trying everything I can- but I can't keep up…

They want me to produce weapons, guns specifically, but… I'm starting to think that these guns won't be used solely to protect others…

I also am struggling to keep up with the production of Sally's pills… I'll have to make more later.

Some of the wanderers are starting to feel uneasy near them, they always tell me that they act as if they own them and this place. They don't let any of the wanderers out of their sight and it's starting to frighten them.

They speak of the wanderers as things, as vermins. Vermins that they collect for respect and power. To become well known… and to have absolute control.

And the way they look at me… it feels as if I'm a tool, a monster, useful only for creating until exhaustion. I don't know if I can trust them anymore, I don't know if they truly want to help others as they say.

They speak cruelly about entities, they asked me to create weapons made entirely of iron, weapons that can kill specific entities… When I asked the other wanderers about them, they were confused as to why they would make such requests to kill non-hostile beings.

Sally won't let them get close to me. She's worried about me and insists that I must take a break. She doesn't like how they're behaving and is afraid of them. But- I reassured her that it'll be okay. I know that they probably don't understand my limits and I will just need to clear up any misunderstanding.

She still seems reluctant about it, but I made sure to let her know that it'll be fine, I know that this is our only possibility for some kind of outside connection…

I know some of them aren't like this, maybe it's their leaders who are influencing them to behave so harshly. I don't want them to scare wanderers and harm those who did nothing wrong. I know they will understand and this can be resolved peacefully. All I want is to create peace, I don't want this kind of conflict…

Grief

Why?

Why?

WHY?!

I thought- I thought I was doing everything right- it was working-

WHY?!

She told me she was okay, she told me she just wanted to sleep-

And I didn't stop her- I thought it was going to be alright-

She's gone, she's… she's gone.

I couldn't create enough pills, I was tired-

I was too tired- I didn't have enough energy and she-

I couldn't save her. I couldn't. It's all my fault.

It won't go away.

No matter how much I scrub it off I still feel dirty, I feel incompetent, the guilt-

Sally… my dear sister…

I couldn't protect you, I made you promises that I couldn't keep, it's all my fault.

I just couldn't put in enough strength. All the things I had to make… If only- if only I wasn't so pathetic-

You just wanted to grow up, you were just a child.

Why? Why did you have to die?

Why?

Why can't I ever save anyone?

No matter what I do- I can't.. everyone I loved died.

Everyone I loved was taken away.

And it's all because I'm WEAK!

A weak and stupid person, who is never strong enough.

I just want to go back… I just want to bring Sally back… I can't bring her back because I can't even use my powers right.

I can never use my abilities right.

…

I'm sorry…

Please forgive me… Sally… forgive me…

Forgive me for this mistake…

…

I shouldn't have trusted them, I should have… never trusted them…

From the moment they came to my level. I should have known they wanted to use me… and only use me…

I know everything now.

I buried Sally in her favorite place… and then this man that I had seen a couple of times before offered to help me. A man in a uniform with a kind voice.

I don't know why he would risk his own life, but seeing the grief I was going through may have caused him to feel pity… When I told him about Sally, he decided to uncover the lies I'd been put through for all this time.

He told me about the true goal of the "Coalition". They're a bunch of dirty entity exterminators that create controlled communities and try to monopolize the Backrooms… their real identity is known as the U.E.C.group.

Their only goal here was to turn my level into a weaponry full of resources for their own sake, they never shared any of the resources with wanderers in need… They used those weapons to harm others and take over small bases and areas…

They've dug about my past, stealing documents and doing everything to discover the origins of my powers… they are sick, all of them are… They want to take everything as their own.

Because of them, Sally is dead, and because of them I've been exhausted for months. They destroyed everything I cared about.

I won't tolerate their presence here any longer, I will kick them out one by one. They will NEVER return.

I will do this for Sally and everyone else.

I'm sorry I didn't figure this out sooner… I'm sorry.

But I will make sure to right my wrongs… and to fix what they've broken.

They won't use this place as a way to cause harm any longer.

I will protect those who are left.

No matter what it takes.

They're all gone.

All of them.

They killed everyone… I wasn't able to send them away fast enough.

This was their revenge.

Because they lost their power.

Because I dared to tell them to leave, to call them out for their cruelty.

I couldn't do anything.

Those weapons I made for them… they used them against the wanderers.

An act of revenge, a sick twisted revenge against me.

Their blood is on my hands.

I am covered in their blood.

It will never go away, never, never, never.

No matter how much I… wish it would go away.

It's all my fault.

Sally, Tournesol, the wanderers.

I am a broken machine that can never do its job right…

I can't die, I can't be free, I can't help anyone.

I am stuck and I am all alone again.

Philia must think I'm pathetic. She worked so hard to keep me alive and I failed her.

I failed everyone.

It's… quiet, bloody, cold.

There is no laughter anymore, no noise, nothing.

I want to go back home to my mother and father…

…

How childish, I don't have a home.

I was never strong enough, I was just afraid to… die.

And now I stay alone in this prison of mine.