yay
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sniped with an actual firearm
hi it is me aaron92
Snipes the gun instead of the player.
Just a high schooler who thinks he is good at writing. Likes working on a lot of stuff, ranging from writing for the Backrooms Wiki, to providing critique, and reading. ~ Pen.
"The truth is the truth. What changes is what we know about it and what we're willing to believe."
- Jonathan Maberry, Rot and Ruin
The article is pretty sound conceptually and such, but I'd like to see more from it. It's decent, but it's missing a sort of conclusion or explanation to the intrigue you create.
Overall, it's a solid page. However, it could be better.
Not a fan. Personally, the log felt forced, as it gave no new information and was a repeat of previously stated things. Even if the log were to be removed (there’s a SPaG error at the end btw), the page is too short with the log. This could have been heavily expanded on. Finally, I just don’t love the concept. It’s dumb to say smth in the backrooms is “too random”, but I didnt like the feel of it unfortunately. Let me know, and I can try and help out if u want! -lemon
I exist for the sole purpose of writing this
overall….. eh? concept is fine, i'd like a little more toying around with it as some kind of deus ex machina, but this is also the type of concept where you'd expect a bit more content from it. Also, the log feels very jarring and forced, plus one or two spag errors. I like what you did here, but it's getting a downvote for now. Few minor fixes + more content and it'll be a +1 from me
- random bitch on wikidot
Chekhov's Gun is the opposite of a Deus Ex Machina. Being something that is introduced earlier in the story and only becomes relevant at a crucial moment. A Deus Ex Machina is literally an act of god, something that was never introduced saving the day. The part about people seeing it in the Frontrooms is it being introduced and them using it is the crucial moment.
For being an object, I find this pretty epic! Making objects interesting is already a task of its own but this concept, I personally love it. A life-saving instance that only presents before those fortunate enough, and that only a handful of them can manage to profit from. Hell yeah, I'm all in for that.
It's short, but I didn't find this a bad thing. It's like an intense candy that rapidly melts in your mouth, and I like that. A +1 for you.
If I'm being honest, the concept is kinda neat. Reminds me of an old concept that I scrapped a while ago.
However, I will say that the physical article could use some work. As a person who uses logs in every single one of their articles- I would recommend making a smoother transition. Also, maybe something after that. Logs are entertaining when they transition smoothly.
Ik you like simple articles with not too much content but the more interesting the concept you introduce; the more that most will expect from the article's content. Usually, you have a tame enough concept to where it wouldn't need to much more content- but this isn't one of those articles.
What are you talking about? This is a very simplistic concept, it is straight up based on a literary trope of the same name, almost copied to a tee and adapted into the Backrooms. Adding any more would just be unnecessary fluff.
It's a gun that shows up whenever someone needs it too, with a mysterious carving, that doesn't harm people but also can blip things to who knows where. Not only that but the article stated that there's a mystery to it.
In every essence of its being, there is a lot to its concept. This strays from your other articles which can be delved down into simple things. Drowners (I think those got deleted, idk.) for instance, is kinda simplistic. They're just murder monsters.
Also, Chekov's gun refers to things that are seemingly unimportant that become important later on in the story. Ironically speaking, most wouldn't even know about this object in a story unless it was directly mentioned. It's not a Chekov's gun if the "seemingly unimportant" thing isn't mentioned and then just appears out of nowhere.
The gun showing up in the Frontrooms represents it being introduced, you could make the argument that this is it appearing out of nowhere, but as a literary trope trying to literally adapt it to the Backrooms would delve into meta territory. As for the carving, it is simply the date of Anton Chekhov's Death. There is in fact, not a lot to the concept, I adapted its most necessary components. Trying to explain why the gun exists, where things shot with it go, and where it goes leaves nothing to the imagination, it would honestly be insulting to the intelligence of the reader and add nothing to the core concept.
You see that’s one reason why I don’t enjoy this very much, because you did take a literary trope and copy it into the backrooms. I found the idea a bit uninspired and unoriginal, and again, the log felt very forced
I exist for the sole purpose of writing this
I personally want more information, such as where the guns come from, where the people shot go to, etc. It's not a problem, but I feel you could definitely add more information without it being "unnecessary fluff".
I plus +1'd this more on the concept of [and what is already in] the article, which is good, not based on what is not there.
Just a high schooler who thinks he is good at writing. Likes working on a lot of stuff, ranging from writing for the Backrooms Wiki, to providing critique, and reading. ~ Pen.
"The truth is the truth. What changes is what we know about it and what we're willing to believe."
- Jonathan Maberry, Rot and Ruin
This concept is really simple, and I'm honestly something of a fan. It's a fairly fun idea despite immense simplicity, but the actual article is weirdly complex and extensive in its description. The writing style just doesn't feel like it's being written by a member of an organization that only has a few witness accounts of the gun to go off of; it feels like it's being written by something almost SCP-ish in thoroughness, although this would probably be placed in the log of anomalous items and be described in much less detail were it actually in SCP. It's been said already in part, but that thoroughness of the previous description makes the log incredibly redundant and seals the downvote because of the sheer volume of fluff.
Goodness, wikidot has a weird account system. What's this weird forum signature thi
I could have cut the log and you would have made the opposite critique. I may as well put whatever I want, clearly some people won't be pleased either way. Anyway, the log actually disproves your original point, the information is too extensive yet it is all covered within a single interview? That is a contradiction, you can't have it both ways. Almost every part in the main article is within the log meaning that it makes 100% sense that the article could be written by someone in the M.E.G., they got nearly all the information they needed from just one interview. You are just grasping at straws for an excuse to downvote a simple article.
You're misinterpreting my point. It's not that the log ruins the rest of the article, it's that the article ruins the log. (not that the article's information is "all covered within a single interview," that the interview doesn't cover interesting information that the article doesn't already cover) Additionally, what I'm calling unrealistic is the extent of the details. Yes, there's (probably) enough information to assume the existence of the gun and sort-of how it works, but the level of detail to which the gun's appearance is documented despite information being limited to rare, short eyewitness accounts (while said eyewitnesses were under heavy duress) seems incredibly unrealistic. And I'm not insisting that removing the log was the best move—you could add details that make it more than just an article recap, do a list of recorded instances of the gun appearing, maybe even a really short narrative of the gun's use (although it's possible that'd suffer from the same problem.) You're free to ask for & consider suggestions and the like; I'm happy to tell you exactly where I think the article gets too SCP-ish and recommend fixes.
Other note: Staff order: don't ad hominem, that's not something we allow. You're free to talk about downvote reasons I gave to any extent, but don't assign motivations to me (or anyone) to then attack.
Goodness, wikidot has a weird account system. What's this weird forum signature thi
I'm not sure…
I really like the concept, I do. But there just seems that there's too much missing from this. I feel like this could use some more stuff, maybe content, that is something other than just description of the object and its abilities. It's kind of stuck in the middle, as the article does not have the feel that makes a minimalistic article feel fine, but does not feel full for a longer one either.
It's a fun play of name, would definitely be a nickname one gives this type of enigmatic(?)object, but the engraving seemed a bit much…personal opinions that's all as I for one do not like putting real-world people into fiction.